Every year by the start of January, card shops, supermarkets and restaurants are advertising ‘romantic meals for two’. Even M&S and Waitrose have a ‘meal for two with a bottle of wine’ offer…which is usually a fancy boxed ready meal labelled in red to fool people into believing that bringing your missus to the local supermarket is the height of romance. 14th February has turned into a Hallmark holiday, where every shop and online grotto and restaurant cash in on the idea of love.
Most people forget who St Valentine actually was. So I’ll tell you!
“He was a Roman Priest at a time when there was an emperor called Claudias who persecuted the church at that particular time,” Father O’Gara explains. ” He also had an edict that prohibited the marriage of young people. This was based on the hypothesis that unmarried soldiers fought better than married soldiers because married soldiers might be afraid of what might happen to them or their wives or families if they died.”
“The idea of encouraging them to marry within the Christian church was what Valentine was about. And he secretly married them because of the edict.”
Valentine was eventually caught, imprisoned and tortured for performing marriage ceremonies against command of Emperor Claudius the second. There are legends surrounding Valentine’s actions while in prison.”
So Valentine was a rebel!
I think it’s very romantic that Valentine encouraged people to marry, even in secret. Marriage is a bigger, more honest show of love than a crappy card and musical teddy from the local garage. However, a lot of people put so much into what this day is…women especially. Some women consider that if they don’t receive a bunch of flowers, or a card or a token of love of some sort from their husband/partner/fuck buddy, that the day is a big waste, and sulk they shall!!! I don’t get it. Yes, Valentine’s Day is all about love and showing your partner you love them…
Why not do that every day?
I bought Husband a giant Thorntons chocolate hamper and he bought me a chair massager and support for work. We bought these for each other three weeks ago in January. Neither of us can usually wait for a specific day just to show how much we love each other.
It shouldn’t be about what gift you get. Hell, last year I got a card. So what? I’m not about to rip his bits off over it but I know people who would. Luckily I have a Husband who is romantic (even when I wish he wasn’t so much!) all the time, not just on a commercially specific day of the year. It doesn’t make me a Valentine version of Scrooge, but this day for me is just another day of the month. Why should I have to (or anyone, for that matter) wait for one day just to make a gesture of love? On 12th Feb I received a gorgeous bouquet of flowers that I wasn’t expecting. My Husband had sent them to me because he was appreciative of how I’ve been handling all the hospital malarkey. Just because. Not on a special day.
I love love. I love flowers and I love romance and I love all the things that come hand in hand with that. I don’t however, like that restaurants add a huge mark up to the same steak they serve every other day just because it’s the 14th. I don’t like that flower prices go through the roof. I don’t like that everything is geared toward men in that if they don’t get xyz then their wife will beat them to death with the hair straighteners she’s been using to get that perfect curl. Women rush to wax/tan/blow dry/paint all the bits of their bodies in the hope of Valentine romantic sex. Let’s face it, if you’re not going to bother the rest of the year, why bother today? Oh waaait…yeah I remember…V-Day is notorious for marriage proposals. Yawn. Originality? I think not. I was proposed to on New Years Eve…at 11am! Husband didn’t want to do the midnight thing as everyone does it.
People rush to find a date just so they don’t have to feel alone, then lament if they cannot find anyone in time. That is one thing I don’t get. Why does being single on V-Day make more of a difference than being single the day before?
I buy my Mum flowers every year on Valentine’s Day. It’s not just a day for partners and I like to use it to remind my Mum she’s loved. There are a lot of things that bug me about this day. Even moreso that Husband is still in hospital, so I still cannot make the chicken roast dinner that I’ve been itching to eat all week. I still only get 3 hours a day of cuddles because while visiting hours open til 8pm, I still have to be home before 7 so that I can get Sophie to bed with her routine intact.
My Valentine will be spent working and listening to Waterloo Road in my pyjamas. I won’t be worrying about whether I got the right bunch of flowers or whether my home is covered in candles and scented bath oils and all that jazz. (I can’t do candles for romance, I’d be worried something would catch fire and that’s certainly not something to put me in the mood!). I’ll be unpacking my shopping delivery and having a hot shower before going to bed. Alone. I’ll also be kissing the face off my littlest Valentine, Sophie. Completely head over the heels in love with her too.
For my Husband…well, he will be in his hospital bed. The fact that I’m managing to work, keep our daughter alive and support him 100% through sickness and health (like our vows said) is romantic enough for him. I’ll still be here. I will love him every day of my life and I will spend every day I have left showing him. Even when I hate him! Valentine’s Day will always be just another day for us.