My First Mother’s Day

Today is my very first Mother’s Day! I cried. I am not ashamed to admit this. I cried over the fact that I have a mug that says ‘Mum’ on it. To be honest, I never thought I would ever get one! Husband bought me a gorgeous frame with two of my favourite wedding photos in it – which is amazing because that was almost a year ago now. Eek!

Loot!
Loot!

Today will be filled with kisses and cuddles with my little squidge, with Husband supplying me with a lot of tea and diet coke. And chocolate. I will still be doing our dinner, because I really enjoy cooking and it’s a fat chicken roast today. I’ll be getting a massage and strawberry cheesecake Ben and Jerry’s. Sophie will be played with all day long – she’s napping right now.

I am so thankful to have Husband and Sophie and I will never forget being woken up at 8.30 with perfect eggs on toast, all because he couldn’t wait to cook for me.

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Valentines Day

Every year by the start of January, card shops, supermarkets and restaurants are advertising ‘romantic meals for two’. Even M&S and Waitrose have a ‘meal for two with a bottle of wine’ offer…which is usually a fancy boxed ready meal labelled in red to fool people into believing that bringing your missus to the local supermarket is the height of romance. 14th February has turned into a Hallmark funny-valentines-day-quotes-complicatedholiday, where every shop and online grotto and restaurant cash in on the idea of love.

Most people forget who St Valentine actually was. So I’ll tell you!

“He was a Roman Priest at a time when there was an emperor called Claudias who persecuted the church at that particular time,” Father O’Gara explains. ” He also had an edict that prohibited the marriage of young people. This was based on the hypothesis that unmarried soldiers fought better than married soldiers because married soldiers might be afraid of what might happen to them or their wives or families if they died.”

“The idea of encouraging them to marry within the Christian church was what Valentine was about. And he secretly married them because of the edict.”

Valentine was eventually caught, imprisoned and tortured for performing marriage ceremonies against command of Emperor Claudius the second. There are legends surrounding Valentine’s actions while in prison.”

So Valentine was a rebel!

I think it’s very romantic that Valentine encouraged people to marry, even in secret. Marriage is a bigger, more honest show of love than a crappy card and musical teddy from the local garage. However, a lot of people put so much into what this day is…women especially. Some women consider that if they don’t receive a bunch of flowers, or a card or a token of love of some sort from their husband/partner/fuck buddy, that the day is a big waste, and sulk they shall!!! I don’t get it. Yes, Valentine’s Day is all about love and showing your partner you love them…

Why not do that every day?

I bought Husband a giant Thorntons chocolate hamper and he bought me a chair massager and support for work. We bought these for each other three weeks ago in January. Neither of us can usually wait for a specific day just to show how much we love each other. 

It shouldn’t be about what gift you get. Hell, last year I got a card. So what? I’m not about to rip his bits off over it but I know people who would. Luckily I have a Husband who is romantic (even when I wish he wasn’t so much!) all the time, not just on a commercially specific day of the year. It doesn’t make me a Valentine version of Scrooge, but this day for me is just another day of the month. Why funny-valentine-day-quote-0should I have to (or anyone, for that matter) wait for one day just to make a gesture of love? On 12th Feb I received a gorgeous bouquet of flowers that I wasn’t expecting. My Husband had sent them to me because he was appreciative of how I’ve been handling all the hospital malarkey. Just because. Not on a special day.

I love love. I love flowers and I love romance and I love all the things that come hand in hand with that. I don’t however, like that restaurants add a huge mark up to the same steak they serve every other day just because it’s the 14th. I don’t like that flower prices go through the roof. I don’t like that everything is geared toward men in that if they don’t get xyz then their wife will beat them to death with the hair straighteners she’s been using to get that perfect curl. Women rush to wax/tan/blow dry/paint all the bits of their bodies in the hope of Valentine romantic sex. Let’s face 482523_10152550121195282_1411940173_nit, if you’re not going to bother the rest of the year, why bother today? Oh waaait…yeah I remember…V-Day is notorious for marriage proposals. Yawn. Originality? I think not. I was proposed to on New Years Eve…at 11am! Husband didn’t want to do the midnight thing as everyone does it.

People rush to find a date just so they don’t have to feel alone, then lament if they cannot find anyone in time. That is one thing I don’t get. Why does being single on V-Day make more of a difference than being single the day before?

I buy my Mum flowers every year on Valentine’s Day. It’s not just a day for partners and I like to use it to remind my Mum she’s loved. There are a lot of things that bug me about this day. Even moreso that Husband is still in hospital, so I still cannot make the chicken roast dinner that I’ve been itching to eat all week. I still only get 3 hours a day of cuddles because while visiting hours open til 8pm, I still have to be home before 7 so that I can get Sophie to bed with her routine intact.

My Valentine will be spent working and listening to Waterloo Road in my pyjamas. I won’t be worrying about whether I got the right bunch of flowers or whether my home is covered in candles and scented bath oils and all that jazz. (I can’t do candles for romance, I’d be worried something would catch fire and that’s certainly not something to put me in the mood!). I’ll be unpacking my shopping delivery and having a hot shower before going to bed. Alone. I’ll also be kissing the face off my littlest Valentine, Sophie. Completely head over the heels in love with her too.

For my Husband…well, he will be in his hospital bed. The fact that I’m managing to work, keep our daughter alive and support him 100% through sickness and health (like our vows said) is romantic enough for him. I’ll still be here. I will love him every day of my life and I will spend every day I have left showing him. Even when I hate him! Valentine’s Day will always be just another day for us.

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Daddy’s Girl…Mummy’s Girl…Daddy’s Girl…Mummy’s Girl…

So it has been decided that Sophie has no idea which one of us she prefers. She wants Daddy for playtime, Mummy for bedtime. Which makes me feel slightly affronted – am I boring or something!? The preference sometimes drives Husband mad especially when he wants to play but she only wants me!

Sometimes when Husband is holding her, she goes mental and wriggles and screams but then I hold her, and she sits quietly and sucks her dummy contented. Then there are times where I am holding her and she settles to nothing but will on her Daddy!

This child has no idea who or what she wants…but that’s ok because she is 19 weeks on Monday (eek!). How can she be 19 weeks already? She is now grabbing toys, smiling and laughing, tracking everything with her eyes and babbling loads. She is getting up to so much mischief and can spin 360 on her playmat now.

I think she is definitely a Daddy’s girl…what do you think?

Definitely Daddy's Girl
Definitely Daddy’s Girl

My Poor Electric Bill

Our washing machine used to get used once a week before our darling came along. Once a week it would spin and wash all the things between Husband and I and if I managed to get through enough in one go, I might even get away with going another week before I had to use it again.

Oh God..
Oh God..

Now is different. Now…I despair. I wash nearly every single day! Everything has poo, or puke, or dribble on it. And when that isn’t supplied by Husband my daughter is supplying it instead! The machine is on practically every day now. There is an abundance of dribble in my home that was not present before Sophie’s arrival.

My poor electric meter is being eaten by the dribble machine – Sophie, that is – because I cannot stop doing washing!

Oh, woe is me!

In Love…With TV

I confess. I love my husband very much. I love my daughter very much. I love my whole family.

But I have another love…TV. And not just any TV. Two particular shows…Grey’s Anatomy and Supernatural.

Grey’s Anatomy… medicine and hot doctors. Supernatural…demons and hot demon hunters. Where can you go wrong with either of these two shows?? Grey’s Anatomy has so much medical jargon it has actually taught me the steps of an appendectomy. And

nomnomnom
nomnomnom

seriously…seriously…SERIOUSLY hot men. Only Grey’s Anatomy fans reading this will understand the ‘seriously’ reference but hey. This show made me seriously consider being a doctor, even though watching Casualty has taught me there is a serious lack of yummy doctors in the NHS. I also didn’t want to be in school for a billion years but that’s not the point here. The point is how effing good is this show!? It is amazeballs. It’s teaching me, really…not just a case of hot-doctoritis but hellooooo yummies!

Also, Supernatural. Lots of action, lots of occult info, lots of fighting and scary stuff…and another two delicious men. It is actually ridiculous. Where do they make these men?? I mean, I do already have a husband who these men don’t compare to – he is ridiculously hot himself and I’m very lucky in that sense… but NOM NOM NOM

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nomnomnom

Dear Universe..

I wanted to write you a letter today to both thank you for a lot of things, and scream at you for others. Well, not scream because you kinda sort out our Karma and shizz like that and I don’t want to piss off the Gods up there.

But REALLY??? 2012 has found me lots of small blessings among a giant pile of crap. It seems like the last 18 months have been a damn struggle. Jobs, house moves, money, it’s been never ending.

Of course I am very thankful for my new Husband and daughter. They are the joy in my life and my daughter gives me more sunshine than the sun itself. Her blue eyes alone are worth waking up for every day.

But why…if you are to grant me those amazing gifts, would you take away so many others? Was I destined to struggle? Were we as a family destined to feel hopeless sometimes?

I am not thankful for that. I never will be. So ner. However I would like to ask, pretty please, if we could have a better 2013. We want Sophie to be safe and happy and warm. If you can grant us that ability I would be forever grateful

D.A.D – Today is a personal DADDY APPRECIATION DAY

Less ranty this one. All about Daddies. Just one in particular – Sophie’s.

Everyone who knows me knows how happy I am with Husband. He is perfectly imperfect for me and a perfect Daddy for Sophie. In no particular order I am going to make a list of thank-yous just to him ❤

Husband cuddles Sophie whenever HE wants one, regardless of whether SHE does

Husband makes bottles AND sterilises them correctly

Husband does the 2am-morning shift which means Mummy gets a lie in nearly every day!

Husband will laugh his head off at a shitty nappy because the farts and smells still make him laugh

Sophie smiles her head off whenever she spots Daddy

Husband makes up his own stories to entertain her

Husband baths with her and splashes with her just to have skin to skin time

Husband will tirelessly play with Sophie and invent names for her teddies: Gerry Giraffe and Terry Tiger are two!

Husband will bring her into the kitchen in her rocker while he washes up just so she has some company

These are just a few of the things I wanted to list. I see everyday how many women complain that their husbands are uninterested in playing with or interacting with their babies, and that their relationships change when they have a baby.

I feel very blessed and very lucky that Husband feels like I do: he helped create the little creature that is Sophie and he watched her birth, cut her cord and he did her first feed. He was the second person to hold her in her life and they have the most incredible bond. He is every bit as connected to her as I am and I carried her for nine months.

Our relationship has become even stronger, and I wanted to show my appreciation that I have someone like him in my life.

“If I had my life to live all over again, next time I would find you sooner so I could love you longer”