Holey Moly

Today’s hot topic has been Ear Piercing for babies! (Let’s cue the boooo hissssss)

I will preface this post by saying that I have 0 plans to pierce Sophie’s ears before the age of 2, and even then I may wait until she is old enough to ask me for it.

Since this has been a hot topic among friends lately, I think tapping ear piercing is a good idea!

Parents choose to pierce their baby’s ears for a variety of reasons. Some parents pierce their baby’s ears because they believe it’s less painful at such a young age. Others pierce for more practical reasons – It solves gender identification problems in girls. Plus, strangers on the street won’t mistakenly assume a girl baby is actually a boy. The little diamond studs tell it all – Except in the Beckhams case (they pierced Romeo’s ears at 2!)

Ohhhh yeah
Ohhhh yeah

Since it only causes a few moments of pain for the baby, and your child will quickly forget it, some parents don’t see the harm in baby ear piercing.

There’s also a cultural element to baby ear piercing. In some cultures or communities, it’s customary for a baby girl’s ears to be pierced. Infant ear piercing may also be a family custom.

You may want to choose baby ear piercing, since older children might be more hesitant to allow you to clean the ears or change the earrings. Babies may not notice that the earrings are there, making it easier for you to care for the newly pierced ears.

ARGUMENTS FOR PIERCING!

Parental discretion

Their first common argument is that parents do lots of things to children that they think are best despite not necessarily being what the child wants, and ear piercing falls into this category. Examples given include pinning down a child to change its nappy, brushing a child’s hair against their will, and changing the outfit of a protesting child.

Gender recognition

The second argument given by pro-piercing parents is that it is often difficult to tell whether a baby is a boy or a girl. If its ears are pierced then people can immediately identify the baby as female.

Health gamble

Another pro-piercing argument contends that if parents get their children’s ears pierced as infants, they can ensure that the wound stays clean, doesn’t grow over and doesn’t get infected, Furthermore, their baby won’t remember the pain. Thus according to this argument, parents can actually save their child from the distress and pain they would otherwise experience if they got their ears pierced at an older age.

Cultural Practice

In some societies ear piercing is a central part of their culture. In Spain for example, the majority of baby girls have their ears pierced from birth. Likewise in Mexico baby girls have their ears pierced in hospital before they leave. In Hindu culture, most boys and girls have their ears pierced before they are 12 days old. For a girl the left ear is pierced first and for a boy it’s the right. This is based on the Ayurvedic principles of nerves leading to the brain. Ear piercing is also mentioned in the Bible and for some Christians is said to be a sign of faith

ARGUMENTS AGAINST PIERCING

Violation of bodily autonomy

One of the biggest issues in the piercing debate is the question of consent. A baby who has their ears pierced and grows up with earrings has no memory of the procedure, and no opportunity to decide for themselves.

It’s CHILD ABUSE!!!

A lot of people see  pushing a needle through your child’s  skin as abusive and terrible and something that should be banned. To be honest, abuse is a spectrum from torture to light smack on the bum . It is naive to suggest that because piercing is significantly less serious than sexual abuse, torture etc that it can therefore not be abusive whatsoever.

 

I can certainly throw out arguments like, “What if the earrings come out and the baby chokes to death!?” But I could say the same thing about everyone who has any small item in their home that might accidentally make its way to the baby’s space.

 

In the end though, it all comes down to the parent and their decision. They made the babies, they raise the babies. I don’t quite understand why people give a shit whether a baby girl or boy has pierced ears. As long as someone isn’t coming at their child bearing needles, then they shouldn’t worry.

 

This argument is just as trivial as whether to have Marmite on your toast – it works for some and not for others. Why can’t people accept that and give it a bloody rest…?

 

Rottenecards_63346533_8h33tswt3r

Hot Topic Ahoy!

*THE FOLLOWING POST IS PERSONAL OPINION ONLY. I DO NOT EXPECT YOU TO AGREE WITH ME AND I AM GIVING YOU FAIR WARNING THAT YOU PROBABLY WON’T. THIS IS A HOT TOPIC AND I WILL NOT APOLOGISE FOR MY VIEWS*

 

Ladies and Gentlemen! The topic today is hitting your kids. Gasp! Shock! OHMYGODHOWCOULDYOUWANTTODISCUSSSUCHLUNACY!

So I was doing some reading and I was thinking a lot about how we would discipline Sophie when she is older. Both Husband and I firmly agree that a smack on the bum is the last option after a warning and naughty step (thank you SuperNanny!) but it’s not an option we will rule out.

When I was a child, I was smacked on the arse if I needed it. When I say needed it, I mean when I was a smart mouth little cow and crossed the line to a point that a warning wasn’t going to work. I also got a smack if I had already had warnings and I hadn’t listened. I think giving children a couple smacks when they were out of line was normal then. I know that my Dad once got whacked by a police man for spitting on the floor. He never did it again, funnily enough!

These days you’re not allowed to hit your own child in your own home because disciplining your own children is disgusting and wrong. I exaggerated there. What I mean is, as a parent I could actually get in serious trouble for giving Sophie a smacked bum. There is a very very fine line between beating the living shit out of your child and a smack on the bum to discipline them when it is a last resort. I found a list of “10 reasons not to hit your kids” online and I am going to copy and paste them here, then give my opinions on each one.

1. Hitting children teaches them to become hitters themselves.

I don’t hit people. None of my brothers hit people. In fact, being smacked on the bum helped me realise ‘oh crap, if I do that I’ll get a smack, best not to risk it!’

2. In many cases of so-called “bad behavior”, the child is simply responding in the only way he can, given his age and experience, to neglect of basic needs.

Hmmm… I disagree. I once got a smack for putting my fingers near an electric plug I knew I shouldn’t touch. That’s not me acting out against neglect, that was me pushing boundaries.

3. Punishment distracts the child from learning how to resolve conflict in an effective and humane way.

Again I disagree. You can talk to a child until you are blue in the face and teach them right from wrong. If the child is still acting out and misbehaving for no other reason than to just wind you up and push your buttons, it doesn’t mean you’ve done a crappy job. They may already KNOW right from wrong – and chose wrong – therefore they will face a consequence for their actions. If they were to whack someone in the face in the street (as an adult and knowing its wrong), that person isn’t going to sit them down nicely and explain why it’s wrong, they will smack them one back.

4. The phrase “Spare the rod and spoil the child” was written to expose and denounce violence against children. Ironically, this phrase is now used to justify corporal punishment and other punitive actions against children.

I will not spoil a misbehaving child – how the hell will they learn anything?

5. Punishment interferes with the bond between parent and child, as it is not human nature to feel loving toward someone who hurts us.

I respect my parents so much for using a smack to sometimes teach me right from wrong. I was not beaten as a kid, I learned that if I severely misbehaved there would be a punishment. I did not stop loving them, I learned right from wrong and appreciate the way they disciplined me. I may not have liked it at the time, but I still learned not to do things again!

6. Many parents never learned in their own childhood that there are positive ways of relating to children.

Some probably don’t. Some parents out there use excessive force and go too far – which is the fine line I was talking about.

7. Anger and frustration which cannot be safely expressed by a child become stored inside; angry teenagers do not fall from the sky. Anger that has been accumulating for many years can come as a shock to parents whose child now feels strong enough to express this rage. Punishment may appear to produce “good behavior” in the early years, but always at a high price, paid by parents and by society as a whole, as the child enters adolescence and early adulthood.

Utter rubbish. If you spend your childhood getting one light tap on the bum for misbehaviour, then turn into a thug of a teenager that is nothing to do with being tapped. You learn right from wrong and everyone knows teenagers hormones make them a bit wacky! None of my brothers or myself turned into a ragey teen because of being disciplined!

8. Spanking on the buttocks, an erogenous zone in childhood, can create in the child’s mind an association between pain and sexual pleasure, and lead to difficulties in adulthood.

Laughing my head off at this!! What child can relate their bottoms to being a sexual zone on their body??? Hahaha still laughing.

9. Physical punishment gives the dangerous and unfair message that “might makes right”, that it is permissible to hurt someone else, provided they are smaller and less powerful than you are.

I grew up with the phrase ‘do as I say, not as I do’. I knew hitting people was wrong because my parents taught me as such. I never ‘feared’ my parents because they hit me, I never questioned ‘if hitting is wrong why did you smack me’. I knew when I was young that that was a severe consequence and showed me how badly I had misbehaved. It was never a punishment used often, but one that proof of the severity of my actions. I didn’t go round smacking people either!

10. Because children learn through parental modeling, physical punishment gives the message that hitting is an appropriate way to express feelings and to solve problems.

Again, just because I was smacked as a last resort doesn’t mean I went round doing it.

Lol!
Lol!

There is no surprise that these days (and since it came in that smacking kids was SO wrong and disgusting and you’re so violent and blah blah) there are more teenage thugs and tearaways. The media is rife with teens who go mental and people cry out at the parents first and foremost. Parents cannot win: if you DON’T smack your kids ever in any way, and they turn into little bastards who are rude and ignorant, you get slated. If you DO choose to smack your kids in the smallest of ways, you are called an abuser and a disgusting human being who doesn’t deserve children.

We are no longer allowed to choose how we discipline our children and those who say they will tap a childs bum is looked at as a child abuser, especially by other mothers. I have no problem admitting that when Sophie is older, if very necessary, I will tap her bum or hand as needed. Especially when reaching for hot stoves or toward electric plugs. I plan to warn her and naughty step and talk to her about why things she has done is wrong.

However, if she chooses to ignore me and run into the road and I grab her in time you are damn skippy that I will be smacking her on the bum. I WANT my children to associate trying to run into dangerous traffic will equal a smacked bottom – better a tap on the bum than being splat all over the road.

This doesn’t mean I will be beating my kids black and blue, and yes, I can teach them respect in so many ways but I will be including a smacked bottom in there and not on a regular basis. Discipline doesn’t mean much these days – even in places it should like the holiday camps we now call prison. You cannot tell kids they are wrong in case you ‘damage their self esteem’, or you are worried about being the bad guy. First and foremost I am Sophie’s mum – not her best friend. I want her to learn and appreciate rules and I’ll do what I can to help her get there. Smacking is not the first thing that comes to mind but I will use it if I need to. Parents shouldn’t be afraid to discipline how they see fit – every way that works for you should be acceptable as long as your kids aren’t shaking in terror when you walk by.

 

So thank you, Mum, for smacking me when I needed it. I am certainly a better person for it!