Ah, Parenthood. There are so many things about this
joyous amazing eternally fucking awesome frustratingly lovely period in life that are wonderful. The smiles in the morning when your sleepified baby has just woken up and realised you are in the room. The giggles all because you spun in a gentle circle yelling WHEEEEEEEE. The sheer amazement of your baby resting their hand on yours while they sit contentedly in your lap.
There are pitfalls. Landmines. Total-fucking-apocalyptic-meltdowns. And do you know what? NO ONE TELLS YOU THIS WHILE YOU ARE PREGNANT!!!!
They say unhelpful things like:
1. Ohhh get your sleep now (during 3rd trimester) as you won’t sleep when the baby arrives!
Do you know what? I didn’t sleep AT ALL in 3rd trimester. With the peeing and the restless legs and the insomnia and the summertime night heat and heartburn. Oh God the heartburn!
2. Rub whiskey on a teething babies’ gums, works a treat
Yeah, in 1950. If I wouldn’t give my baby juice at 5 months why would I dose her with whiskey??
And my all time favourite…
OH YOU JUST WAIT TIL IT’S YOUR TURN
Anyway, as I was saying. Sophie is teething. She has 4 little white blobs on her bottom gums that are so white and ready to pop, as well as two white blobs on her top gums. I had a beautifully behaved baby who was quite independent – happy to play on Daddy, Mummy or on her own on her playmat gumming the hell out of her crackly butterflies!
Since she begun teething, Sophie has decided if she’s not on her playmat, then only Mummy will do. Highly impractical even if lovely. Sometimes I don’t like how much she wants me – sure she is my daughter and I love being her Mama and I love knowing I can soothe her…but I have to tell you…crying I can handle. Sobbing I can deal with. Incessant, annoying, ongoing and never ending WHINGING??? No. I have no patience. Lately my daughters’ anthem is a resounding ‘ennhhh nnnhhh ennnhhh ennnhhh’ over…and over…and over…and over.
It honest to God grates on the nerves. I can handle crying because Sophie only cries when there’s a problem. But the pain in my darlings teeth is so annoying to her she doesn’t know what to do with herself. She doesn’t know whether to sleep, eat, poop sit, lie, laugh, cry (I’ve had moments where she will cry while smiling haha!)
Luckily for us, a swift dose of Calpol, Bonjela and a warm bottle tend to help her. If she’s crying because of tooth ache, we’re crying because our nerves are shot to shit listening to it. Obviously it’s not her fault. She is a baby and can’t just articulate the pain and where it’s coming from and what she needs for it. And I’m not a bad mother for complaining about the fact that hearing my daughter so uncomfy and I can’t do anything about it. I actually got told the following:
You knew what you were getting into when you got pregnant. You should be grateful you even have her at all.
Well for anyone who wants to say that to me again, this is for you:
Take a running jump. Seriously – long walk off a high cliff. No first time mother truly knows what they’re getting into when they have a baby. You can be told about the wakeful nights and the clinginess and the terrors of teething. But it’s like telling someone what it’s like to have a million quid. You think you know what you would do with it until you have it. You think it will be the most amazing and easy experience to have a million quid, and it is, but it’s tough to be responsible for that amount of money. You see where I’m going with this? Teething babies are upset babies. They are sad, sleepy and grouchy for it and it’s not easy by any stretch of the imagination. Husband and I have bitten each others heads off in sheer exhaustion when Sophie cannot sleep no matter what we do. Rare for us, yes, but it happens.
Sophie is hard work. But I wouldn’t change a damn thing about her no matter how much I complain about it.