There. I said it out loud and properly. I want squidgy newborns to kiss, smell and cuddle. Sophie is beautiful and lovely but she is now out of the newborn prawn stage. You know what I mean – where when you pick them up they still stay all folded up and curled? Where they are too little for their own skin and their clothes drown them cos they are so small? Yeah I want that again.
It doesn’t help me that so many of my friends are at various stages of pregnancy. Some are just beginning and others are finding out the sex. Some are about ready to pop. And luckily for me, I can squidge over their babies for now until Autumn when I can try again for my own. My whole body is yearning, literally yearning, to get pregnant. I really do miss the excitement of scans, cravings, bumping out. Even LABOUR! I want to do it again! I want that relief when it’s done and the yucky covered baby is put on you all small and wiggly. I want Sophie to have a brother next (or sister, as long as it’s a baby I couldn’t care less!)
Remember my earlier blog about making smart decisions? Well, yesterday I was at a point I almost told Husband it was a smart decision to have a baby now – after all, I’d be pregnant for 9 months…and by the time the baby is here we’d have sorted what we need to sort… *dreams*…
NO! Bad bad thoughts. I must be good. It’s better to sort out life first
I just don’t have to like it…Come on…who can resist this face???
One Born Every Minute is back! And we all know what that means…BABIES! Teeny newborns being born and the sounds of women in labour – which depending who you are, could be panting, yelling, screaming or plain sounding like you’re in the throes of an orgasm.
Personally I was quite quiet. Pushing was harder on my legs (as I mentioned before) and I LOVE One Born. I love seeing those moments of magic where the tiny humans are first into the world. All folded up and not quite in their skin yet. So wrinkly and goopy and just proper bundles of actual love. Made from love (in most cases).
There are loads of women I am friends with who are all pregnant now in various stages along and I confess to be jealous.
I have a beautiful five month old daughter who is now grabbing her toes and awaiting her teeth to pop through. I love Sophie with all my heart – she is my rainbow baby. But GOD do I want another one! Seeing all the newborns around me makes me so, so broody it’s unbelievable. I miss pregnancy and labour more than having a newborn though. I miss the excitement of scans, first kicks and cravings. I miss taking a billion tests just to make sure that there is a baby there and it isn’t some incredible dream I get to live. One thing I hope for next time round though is a proper bump. You know the one I mean, one where you can actually rest your book or cereal bowl on the top. I had a tiny bump that barely showed.
I still can’t quite stomach the smell of Chinese food even now! *wistful sigh*
Anyway, I know I have Sophie. I know I have what so many women long for. But she didn’t come easy. We lost two before Sophie and what with me being all over the place as a woman she was a little miracle in my eyes. Doesn’t stop me wanting another one though. We won’t find out the gender next time though, we’ll have the surprise of pink or blue. I want Husband to be able to tell me the name of our baby when they arrive!