June…How The Hell Did That Happen?!

Six months have passed by since I got my positive pregnancy test, and I am sitting here wondering what happened to all the months in between! I suddenly find myself almost 30 weeks pregnant and into the home stretch. If we go by when I went into labour with Sophie, I only have 9 weeks to go…which is scary. And exciting. But mainly scary.

White top (Sophie 38 weeks) Black top (Madeleine 29weeks)
White top (Sophie 38 weeks)
Black top (Madeleine 29weeks)

In the next thirteen weeks, I will be having a new baby, moving house (potentially 205 miles away from where we are now!) and Husband will be changing jobs, if we manage to secure him work up North. Lots of big changes and not a lot of time. There’s every chance that we may not move at all, it’s all job dependent, but hey we don’t do things by half haha!

Second pregnancies are HARD. I have such respect for my Mum, who was nuts enough to do this five bloody times. The first time round, if I was tired, I could nap. If I was hungry, I could eat. If I wanted to just sit in silence, silence was what I had. This time? This time I have a gorgeous and LOUD almost two year old who is awake at 6.30 and goes to bed at 6. There’s no nap time. There’s no eating without rushing or sharing. There’s no relaxation when you have a tantruming toddler to sort out.

It’s physically and emotionally more exhausting. Rewarding, yes, but exhausting. No one tells you about it! No one explains that being pregnant with other children around means hormones run wild and how exhausting it is. I can’t run properly after Sophie lugging the giant bump around. Night time wakings, which although are less so now, still happen with Sophie. Third trimester means I don’t sleep as it is, never mind actually having to sort another child out at the same time, so I don’t sleep at night and Sophie doesn’t sleep in the day so I can’t even snatch an hour.

That said – I wouldn’t change it. I can’t imagine not knowing Madeleine now and I cannot wait to meet her – not just for the reason that I am shattered either! I can say with a lot of confidence though, that as much as I love her, I have NOT loved being pregnant this time and I’m looking forward to getting back to being me, a mummy and a wife without the added weight in front!

I will be bottle feeding again this time round, and I am praying (hard) that Madeleine is a joy as a baby like Sophie was. The best bit about everything coming up, is moving to a house again with a garden. I have no plans at all to lug two kids to the park while Madeleine is so little, so a garden will be such a big help for play times.

ANYWAY

 

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Sophie is doing really well. She is cheeky and has definitely entered the terrible twos. 90% of the time we have an amazing day together and she spends the day very well behaved, playing, laughing and eating well. She is still on Movicol and Senna for her bowels as we still haven’t got an answer on her constipation.

The one thing that we have had some issues with lately is attitude. Sophie is very headstrong and we have introduced a ‘calm down chair’ or in other words ‘somewhere-you-will-sit-and-learn-to-calm-your-temper-so-Mummy-has-a minute-to-calm-hers’ chair. Sophie has very much come into her own with what she wants, and sometimes when she doesn’t get what she wants WHEN SHE DEMANDS, then the world ended and the screaming begins. However. I do not give in to baby demands when it isn’t a necessity (ie, biscuits before dinner). So when she kicks off, she gets a warning and if that doesn’t work we go into the calm down chair for a minute at a time. Sophie never gets told off for being angry etc, or upset, but when she gets angry she throws toys and everything else she can reach and also smacks herself in the head. Not sure how that helps, but it’s what she does! Sophie understands the chair and what it’s for, as she says sorry and gives me a kiss after I explain why she is on the chair in the first place. Thing is, when you are heavily pregnant, dealing with a toddler can be quite a bit more of a challenge because you’re tired and cranky as it is. A tiny girl high pitched screaming in your face is enough to push the hardest of buttons!

We have put in place a counting system. Sophie is very good most of the time, and sometimes she will throw her rubbish etc on the floor. If I ask her to pass the rubbish to Mummy, she will stamp a foot and say no. So all I have to do is say ‘Mummy is going to count to five, and I would like you to pick it up please’. So far, I have never got past 2 before she leaps into action.

If I had known about the counting thing a couple weeks ago, I could have saved myself a hell of a lot of fighting with a tiny person haha!!

I have to say though, Sophie is just an infectious ball of sunshine. She has this giggle that is so catching, and lately she has been cuddly to ME – her MUM. I never ever get the cuddly bits! Sophie usually reserves her affections for her Daddy. She understands she has a sister coming and will kiss my bump and say ‘Maddie’. Her speech is amazing and her manners are lovely. I get a ‘thank you Mummy’ every time she gets given something now, and I am so pleased because manners are the one thing that I always wanted to make sure she has.

I think that’s pretty much it for now!

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What To Expect When You’re Expecting…The Dark Side

This post is dedicated to a very good (and halfway pregnant, squee!) friend of mine.

 

During pregnancy women get asked all manner of weird and wonderful things. So I’m going to list the top things said to pregnant 01women:

1. Oh WOW – you’re BIG!!!! 

Good Response:

Thank you, I’m doing well for 9 months pregnant!

Bad Response:

Are you saying I’m fat? Cos most of this is baby and water.

Ugly Response:

So are you.

2. 8 months? Really? You’re not showing that much, you CAN’T be that far? (Actually said to me!)

Good Response:

Oh thanks, this will make it easier to snap back!

Bad Response:

Are you saying I’m faking it? *shoves scan pictures at them!*

Ugly Response:

I had sex 8 months ago. You didn’t.

3. I heard labour isn’t all that painful. (Worse if being said by a man…)images (4)

Good Response:

Good news! I should breeze this then

Bad Response:

Are you saying I couldn’t take the pain?

Ugly Response:

You don’t have to do this, shut the fuck up.

4. Oh I noticed you’d gained a belly, I just thought it was you eating too much

Good Response:

Haha, no, I have a baby in there!

Bad Response:

ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT???

Ugly Response:

I noticed that about you too.

5. Should you really be eating that? (Anything that isn’t organic/healthy/green)090312-iv-angry-pregnant-woman

Good Response:

Cravings do funny things to a person

Bad Response:

Yes actually I should. Because I’m hungry. AND I NEED IT.

Ugly Response:

ARE YOU CALLING ME GREEDY?!

6. You look just about ready to pop! (said at any time after 6 months)do_not_touch_my_belly_sticker-p217667666017580920en8ct_400

Good Response:

Oh really? I have a way to go yet!

Bad Response:

SO I’M FAT AM I????

Ugly Response:

I am about ready to pop. You. In the face. With a chair.

7. Did you mean to get pregnant, I mean, is this an accident or planned? (100% said to me!)

Good Response:

Thanks for asking me… Of course, this baby was planned out. It wouldn’t matter either way though because we’re so thrilled

Bad Response:

Are you saying I’m a slut??

Ugly Response:

I meant to get pregnant. Did your mother mean to swallow you?

8. God! PREGNANCY HORMONES MUCH??

Good Response:

Excuse me, I apologise, hormones are everywhere now

Bad Response:

YOU CALLED ME FAT!

Ugly Response:

No! Not hormones! YOU. ALWAYS YOU!

9. I think you’re carrying a girl, they say girls steal your beautyannoying-things-to-say

Good Response:

Well, good thing I’m not sure what I’m carrying then

Bad Response:

ARE YOU CALLING ME UGLY?

Ugly Response:

That explains your mother then.

10. You are planning to breastfeed aren’t you?

Good Response:

We’re not sure yet, we’ll decide when the time comes

Bad Response:

Why are you pressuring me?

Ugly Response:

Thanks for the interest in my tits. How about you worry about what you/your wife is doing with theirs and keep your nose out of mine?

11. Oh MY GOD I can’t believe you chose NOT to breastfeed! Don’t you know what you are doing? YOU’RE POISONING YOUR CHILD!

Good Response:

Thank you for your concern, but formula is the way to go for me and my baby

Bad Response:

What concern is it of yours, bitch?

Ugly Response:

Since when did my boobs become your personal worry? Fuck off.

12. Are you planning on pain relief? Cos you really shouldn’t drug your babycartoon28

Good Response:

Um, we haven’t really decided. We’ll worry about it when the time comes.

Bad Response:

Oh I see you have no children? Mm. Thanks for the labour advice.

Ugly Response:

The baby isn’t even here yet and you’re going to judge my decisions and call me a bad parent? Fuck you.

13. So, have you had your cervix checked yet?

Good Response:

That’s really not your concern.

Bad Response:

WHY WOULD YOU ASK SUCH A PERSONAL QUESTION? (while sobbing)

Ugly Response:

How is your vagina looking these days?

14. Of course your mother should be in the room while you give birth, she is your mother. You can’t do this without her.

Good Response:

Thanks for your input.

Bad Response:

Oh should she now? I think my partner/husband/boyfriend/person who made baby is probably the person I can’t do this without thanks

Ugly Response:

That’s funny, she didn’t need to be there when I was making this baby. Why does she need to be there now?

15. Wow…you STILL look pregnant. How many weeks post baby are you now? think-im-crabby-bg2

Good Response:

I’m enjoying my baby at the moment, the weight will go in time.

Bad Response:

ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT??

Ugly Response:

You look pregnant too. You don’t even have kids.

 

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The Other Great Debate

Truth
Truth

Crunchy Mothers. This is a new phrase to me, but apparently, it means

Mother who supports homebirth, breastfeeding, baby wearing, cloth diapering, co-sleeping, gentle discipline, etc. One who questions established medical authority; tends to be vegetarian and/or prepare all-organic foodscrunchymama

There are extremes – where the ladies don’t shave, use deodorant or ever go to the doctor for medicine if they have an herbal remedy. There are also the mild versions, where mums cloth-bum and breastfeed but won’t give up their pram.

Then there are Creamy Mothers

Mother who practices crib sleeping, pro vaxing, pram pushing, disposable diapering, formula feeding etc.

I have no idea where this phrase comes from, but it came up today that those that label themselves as ‘crunchy’ or practice ‘attachment parenting’ view those of us who are more creamy than crunchy as ‘detached’ from our kids…

Crock. Of. Shit

Everyone parents differently. There are women who cross both borders and booby feed but use a pram. There are women who babywear, breastfeed but have sposie bum babies. Grouping people into categories is harsh and unnecessary. Some women I (used) to know, were brilliant when they were pregnant but then turned into bitches who feel they have superiority over you because they do things naturally. Well…exCUSE me if I don’t mind my baby getting a little grimy every now and then, I personally believe it’s the best way to get her acclimatised to the world if I actually let her live in a non sterile environment.

Whether I wear Sophie or not doesn’t mean I’m less attached to her. The fact I don’t want her taking over my bed doesn’t mean I’m less attached to her. Just because I don’t have her latched doesn’t mean she feels detached from me either. I hate the idea that I am not close to my baby just because I don’t do those things. Sophie and I have an incredible bond. She knows who I am, laughs and smiles with me, heck she’s even trying to eat my hair most of the time!

So the eff what if I choose to use a pram than a baby carrier? So the eff what if I choose to use sposie nappies and not a cloth one? I’ve said it before a million times, but who is anyone to judge? Of course everyone has their opinions. I know people who disagree with how I use formula or how I don’t baby wear…but they don’t judge me for it. There’s a difference between thinking ‘that’s not for me’ and saying ‘YOU’RE DAMAGING YOUR CHILD WITH POISONOUS, POISONOUS CHOICES!’.

Are the babies going to remember whether you breastfed? No. Co-slept? No. Used a pram? No. All babies care about is that they are fed, warm, clean and loved. How anyone chooses to go about that is no one else’s God damn business.

I am a firm believer in doing what works for Sophie. I also believe that as she gets older, I will not be letting her set her own Time-Cover-Illustrates-Attachment-Parenting-Featuring-Mother-Breastfeeding-3-Year-Old-Son-01boundaries. As the adult, I won’t be allowing her to run my house and dictate what happens when via a tantrum. I also won’t be pandering to tantrums (as mentioned in previous posts). I plan to be strict. I plan to let her be as free and as creative as possible within reason.

There was a magazine cover not long ago titled ‘Are You Mom Enough?’ and this was to underline extended breastfeeding, one of the ideas of attachment parenting. Whatever works for this mother is fine by me…but this seems to be something that screams in peoples faces, daring them to argue with her and if they do then they are in the wrong and HOW DARE THEY! I support every woman in breastfeeding in public however I’m not a fan of extended breastfeeding. This is my opinion but it’ not something I would practice. I also believe that when a child is using cutlery and holding their own cups, at school etc then breastfeeding has run its course. HOWEVER if this is what is right for her and for other mothers then kudos to her for not giving a shit what anyone thinks.

I am not a ‘crunchy’ mother. I am not even a ‘creamy’ mother. I parent the Sophie Way. 

Let’s All Sit Together!

Drum Rolllllllll puhLEASE!

One day shy of 6 months old & my beautiful Sophie can sit.

UNAIDED!

This morning we were playing and I always practice sitting her up and then just hover my hands either side of her for when she inevitably topples over. Five minutes went by while I was nattering to Hubbers…and then I looked down, realising I hadn’t felt a topple!

So here she is, a very big girl now at  just under 6 months old, my daughter sits alone. I am so extremely proud of her.

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Eat Dinner? Really?

When people have dinner, and they don’t have children, they do this:

 

Leave the house (see my earlier post)

Stroll leisurely to nearest supermarket, hand in hand

Using free hand, pick up a basket

Stroll slowly round the supermarket choosing ingredients

Stroll home

Prepare ingredients for dinner and cook

With two hands, eat your food at a leisurely pace until full

 

When people have dinner, and they do have children, they do this:

 

Refer to my post above about getting out of the house intact

Power walk up the road with the pram to hopefully rock baby to sleep

Get to supermarket and have Husband grab a trolley (or if solo journey, use pushchair as a trolley)

Rush quickly around to grab ingredients for dinner before baby realises you are staying still and wakes up

Rush home

Change baby

Feed baby

Put baby with toys onto playmat while you sort shopping

Shush whining child by dancing like a loony while peeling potatoes

While holding meat, wipe spit up

Get everything finally cooking on the hob

Change poopy nappy

Play with baby for half hour while food cooks

Strap squirming baby into swing chair/bouncer while you serve up

Sing nursery rhymes at child who is now attacking straps with gums and spit

Shovel dinner down with one hand while you wave toys at baby with the other

Wash up tomorrow.

 

PHEW

 

A Woman’s Choice

***WARNING: THIS POST DISCUSSES ABORTION***

*THE VIEWS IN THIS BLOG POST ARE MY OWN. I DO NOT EXPECT PEOPLE TO AGREE WITH ME*

 

One of the hottest topics in parenting is the ‘A’ word. Nope I’m not talking about Avent and their bottles…but abortion. I can literally feel some of you taking a deep breath. I don’t really expect people to agree with my personal views on abortion, nor do I expect my blog to change your opinion either. So while you are reading, bear in mind that we don’t have to agree and if you don’t please feel free to click the little ‘x’ in the corner of this window.

ANYWAY

Abortion is a sticky topic. The divide between whether it is right or wrong is huge. Wikipedia says:

Abortion is the termination of pregnancy by the removal or expulsion from the uterus of a fetus or embryo prior to viability. An abortion can occur spontaneously, in which case it is usually called a miscarriage, or it can be purposely induced. The term abortion most commonly refers to the induced abortion of a human pregnancy

Viability. That’s a fun word. This refers to whether the baby is born too early to live with medical intervention. Of course, babies born at a certain gestation have no chance of survival, and this is Mother Nature working. Babies are gestated for 40 weeks for a reason: they need to grow and develop. Generally after 24 weeks gestation (and 23, in rare cases), babies are ‘viable’ and will most likely live with medical help. Doctors are under no legal obligation to try to save a baby born younger than 24 weeks, unless they believe it is in the child’s best interest. Abortion is legal up to the limit of 24 weeks. Here’s a little bit of information for you from BabyCentre:

How your baby’s growing: 24 weeks

Your baby’s growing steadily, having gained about 4 ounces since last week. That puts him at just over a pound. Since he’s almost a foot long (picture an ear of corn), he cuts a pretty lean figure at this point, but his body is filling out proportionally and he’ll soon start to plump up. His brain is also growing quickly now, and his taste buds are continuing to develop. His lungs are developing “branches” of the respiratory “tree” as well as cells that produce surfactant, a substance that will help his air sacs inflate once he hits the outside world. His skin is still thin and translucent, but that will start to change soon

So, your baby at 24 weeks’ gestation, can taste. He is gaining weight. Those little ears of his are getting sharper and can hear very loud sounds. Also by now, his fabulous face is almost fully formed, complete with eyelashes, eyebrows, and hair. Hair! They have more room to jump around in there for now, and they are exploring their environment. This is already a person. Tiny, yes. The weight of a bag of sugar, yes. But a person.

The government guidelines state that even though this little person who could live if he were born, could be aborted now. Because it’s legal.

There are many issues surrounding the choice for abortion itself. Firstly, I will clarify that I am pro-choice. I believe every woman in this world has the right to choose what to do with her body and shouldn’t feel oppressed for that decision. However, I do believe that the current abortion limit should be lowered to 14 weeks (end of the 1st trimester).

There are certain circumstances that an abortion is the only way to go, risk to maternal or foetal health being one of them. At the 20 week anomaly scan, some women do get the devastating news that their baby will not survive because of severe abnormalities or other medical issues that mean a baby born will die shortly after birth and will be in a lot of pain. In this case, women sometimes choose to have an abortion there and then if there is no chance left of a normal life – or even just life. Other women choose to carry a pregnancy through because they have already bonded with their baby.

I don’t believe that if you discover you are pregnant at 20 weeks and it was an accident because you were drunk, that you should be legally allowed to abort that baby. We have contraception for a reason and their is the option of adoption. Aborting for convenience sake is never a good enough reason. However, that’s just my opinion.

Other reasons for abortion surround that of abuse, rape or incest. I believe every woman has a personal choice in that if she is attacked in any way and becomes pregnant, it is her decision as to whether she can live with the daily reminder of her attacker or abort the baby that was created through pain. A very dear friend of mine was raped at the age of 14. Disgusting isn’t it? She became pregnant and made the very tough decision to have an abortion. She was a child making an adult decision that she should not have even been a position to have to make.

The child in her knows she made the right choice. At 14 years old, she was not in a mental, emotional or even financial position to support the foetus inside her. She is now a happy, healthy soon-to-be 23 year old who has a beautiful 10 month old little boy. My friend regrets her decision every day. It doesn’t mean she didn’t do the right thing at the time of it happening, though.

20% of all recognised pregnancies end in miscarriage. If God exists, he is the most prolific abortionist of all.”

I am tackling such a topic today, because of this article. These two little miracles were both born at the very edge of life at 23 weeks. According to the law, these little babeis should not have been saved because there is no medical obligation to do so. But they are now 7 months old (3 months post due date) and thriving as any normal newborn would.

Abortion itself is a personal, very personal, decision and NOT a legal debate. However the abortion limit needs to be debated otherwise babies like the twins in the news story and other stories out there will not get to live the way they deserve.

It’s kind of hard to describe – I am very pro choice in that a woman should choose what she does with her body, but I am also pro life in that a baby doesn’t deserve to be discarded for being an inconvenience. So I guess I am pro smart-choices?! It’s all very confusing – how do I be pro choice and pro life at the same time? I can be this – women fought for years for their rights. If you can’t trust a woman with a choice about what to do with her own body, why would you trust her with a baby? You wouldn’t. Women deserve the right to choose what they do. Either way, 24 weeks as a limit is too far. This needs to be lowered unless for medical reasons.

It’s a personal and smart choice to abort a baby, if medically nothing can be done and you are saving your child from pain or saving your own life from death.

It’s a personal and smart choice to abort a baby, if you were raped, abused and you were impregnated and you know for yourself that you cannot cope with a baby who will remind you every day of what happened.

It is not a smart choice to abandon all contraception and use abortion as a method of birth control.

It is not a smart choice to get to 24 weeks and decide to change your mind.

 

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Graduating!

Sophie is getting too big too quick. She usually has her solids while in her swing seat while it’s locked, but now we have moved up to a highchair *sob*. I feel like my baby is growing up so much faster than I thought. Even her crying sounds different…it’s more talkative..less like a newborn cry!

Sophie has also had her very first ride in a supermarket trolley. We were moseying around Asda and Sophie started to get a bit ratty. It’s quite new that she hates being in her pushchair now. I think it’s the freedom of being on the floor or sitting and grabbing at her toys that she prefers than the confines of her pushchair. Such a fusspot.

Anyway, she LOVED the trolley. Had to tighten the straps a bit though as she is still such a little dink that she doesn’t quite sit on her own. She has excellent head and neck control (has done since 2 days old)  and sits beautifully, but needs a little support still so she doesn’t tip sideways. Sophie has also somehow mastered NODDING!!! Lying on her back and babbling away, my girl can actually nod. It’s so cute and so weird.

Sigh… I didn’t really believe it when people told me how fast it would go…

 

My big girl <3
My big girl ❤