Conceived: November 2011
Born: August 2012
The six months leading up to Sophie’s conception were very tough for me. In March 2011, we accidentally fell pregnant, but the day we found out was also the day we had a chemical pregnancy. I wasn’t ‘devastated’ as such, because we weren’t expecting it nor planning it, but from that moment we knew we wanted a baby. So we binned the condoms and were not trying, but not preventing.
I have had wacky cycles. Since I came off Microgynon (the evil pill), my cycles went from 30 days to 70 days; not ideal! I had all the tests and they came back with nothing wrong in June 2011. So we decided to up our efforts, and began trying properly, thermometers, ovulation sticks,
the lot! Anyway, As you can see by my chart I had two days of positive tests and then another chemical pregnancy. Heartbroken was not the word I was an absolute mess! Luckily enough we had a weeks holiday waiting for us mid August, so we went away and I did some screaming on the beach.
We came back, and didn’t jump back into trying, we waited to see what my cycles would do. In November 2011, we tried again then same as June 2011, except this time I took folic acid throughout the month.
It worked! I really do believe the folic acid helped the baby that was to be Sophie, to stick! I got my positive ten days after I ovulated, on a cheapy dip test. I didn’t trust it – the line was SO faint there was no way it could be positive. Two days later, I bought a First Response while Husband was at work, and shook while I waited. I left on the windowsill in the living room and went to get a drink. Four minutes I waited, then I stared at it for another minute before I had enough courage to flip it over. POSITIVE!!!! Faint, but there! I didn’t jump. I didn’t scream. I didn’t even smile. I rung Husband, and said ‘You’re going to be a Daddy, I hope.’ His reply was just as calm ‘That’s good, let’s test again in three days’. He wasn’t being a shit, he was being cautious. We had been there before.
The same day I took the test, I started to spot brown. I was already numb, expecting it all to end any second so I just kept an eye on it. I didn’t take another test, I wouldn’t say a word about it I just waited to come on my period so I could move on. It was a Friday when I started spotting, but the one difference was it was very thick and just brown, no red. On the Monday, the icky brown stuff had stopped coming, so Husband and I bought another First Response test. Same again – waiting four minutes and I got him to look because I couldn’t face a negative test again. He asked me what it meant if the test line was darker than the control line. THAT was when I started screaming. I hadn’t lost the baby! I learned later on that what I was experiencing was implantation bleeding and the gathering of the mucous plug (yucky!)
We were of course, terrified. I waited another week before I asked to see the midwife, and I asked my GP if I could be referred for an early scan at 7 weeks or so, just so that I can be sure and to help with nerves. Morning sickness kicked in at 5 weeks and 5 days, which wasn’t fun but I did like the symptoms, reassured me that bean was fine! So we got the scan booked in when I was 6 weeks and 3 days and the ultrasound tech said it would have to be internal scan because you could see more. I was so nervous going in there, as obviously I’d never gotten as far as a scan before. So I had to go pee because you need an empty bladder for it and she used this mahooooosive probey
thing. I got into the stirrups and off she went, Husband gripping my hand. At first we saw this black spot, then inside that a tiny little kidney bean shape with a small curly line next to it and a FLICKER. This little flicker was our gorgeous little babies heartbeat – it was so strong and obvious and both of us went ‘Oh my god a heartbeat’ at the same time. We saw a gestational sac, yolk sac, fetus and heartbeat very clearly without much searching. Tears sprung out of my eyes as soon as I saw the flashing. She printed off two photos for me and also checked my tubes and my ovaries and all was fine and dandy. I was brought down to earth a bit when I got back to work because I ate porridge and within about half hour was vomiting it back up. We also bought a doppler at 10 weeks along so I could hear the heartbeat whenever I got scared. We found it thumping away at 11 weeks exactly, and I listened in every night!
Things I learned about 1st Trimester:
– You cannot control the urge to puke. Whether that’s at work or home or in the street
– Morning sickness is not something to ‘envy’. When other people have it, feel sad that you might get it too, not excited to have the ‘experience’.
– Boobs are to be looked at, never touched. Ever
– It is perfectly okay to cry because you saw a cute teddy in the shop window.
– It is not okay to cry because you didn’t get sick that day.
– Food aversions are there for a reason. If you don’t like a certain thing, don’t convince yourself you do.
– If you do try to convince yourself it’s in your head, don’t then complain about violently projectiling!!
– You will get sick – often, when you don’t expect it and violently.
– Sometimes, it will splash in your face.
– It’s okay to cry about this!
– You will be TIRED. And I mean TIRED.
– Men can wash up and clear the kitchen. The smell will kill you anyway.
– You will leak a lot. Yucky discharge is par for the course. No, you are not bleeding.
– It is normal to have brown discharge at the start of your pregnancy.
– Sex is scary in the first trimester. You will be too tired anyway.
My dating scan was at 13 weeks exactly, and I was measuring right on where I thought I was (take that stupid sonographer from 6 weeks!!!). Our little moo was rolling and spinning and back flipping all over the place. The midwife took ages getting the measurements. I nearly cried
watching the tiny hands flapping and feet kicking. It’s so weird, for something that moves to fast I couldn’t feel anything! Anyway, we couldn’t get a decent photo because the baby was moving too fast, so we booked a second scan privately for the following week at 14weeks + 1 day. The baby was fast asleep (see above) and the sonographer wiggled my tummy to wake it up. The baby woke up, kicked, waved and rolled over to go back to sleep. Was so unbelievably sweet to watch.
At 17 weeks and 4 days along, I felt two distinct prods. Before that I had only felt pops and bubbles but I put it down to gas!!! We booked a private scan again for 18 weeks and 1 day so we could find out what we were having. I was absolutely convinced a boy! I was craving red meat and crisps the entire time to the point I would go to McDonalds, order a quarter pounder burger, remove the bun and just chow down on the meat alone! Husband was desperate for a daughter first, a Daddy’s girl to rival all Daddy’s girls. We got in, and when the tech said we were having a girl, and showed us right between the legs at what she was looking at, we both started to cry. Him because of happiness, me because of grief. I had imagined a boy down to his curly brown hair (like his dad). I was so upset that I was having a girl purely because I hadn’t imagined it at all!!!
However, within about a minute, I was watching this cheeky little lady blowing bubbles on the 3D screen and covering her face with her hands, and I just said ‘Think of the yellow we can buy!’ and got very excited. I could teach her to bake! We went for the NHS 20 week scan two weeks later, and got them to reconfirm the sex of the baby for us, and from then on Sophie was never called ‘baby’ unless around my parents, as they didn’t want to know what we were having.
We were told I had low lying placenta and to be careful until 32 weeks, where they would scan me again to see if the placenta had moved away from the cervix. Husband and I tied the knot when I was 24 weeks pregnant, but I still had barely a bump to speak of!
We moved house when I was 32 weeks pregnant, right after a scan telling us the placenta had moved, and to enjoy the rest of the pregnancy. I didn’t properly bump out until right at the end when I was 38 weeks, but that didn’t stop people making comments. I heard it all ”oh your bump is so small, where is baby hiding” ”are you sure you’re actually pregnant??” and the best one ”I bet your baby is massive but hiding!”. I may have had no actual bump, but there was still a baby kicking the crap out of my insides, and resting her tiny baby toes into my ribs which made me feel like they were going to break! Second trimester was relatively normal for my pregnancy, I was tired a lot, and I craved Walkers French Fries crisps, but that was about it! Sophie would roll and kick and I would lie flat and watch my stomach dance around. I could feel when she flipped from head up to head down due to her kicks. Husband bought me a ‘halfway point’ gift in the form of a maternity sausage pillow, which was SO COMFY!!!
3rd trimester was fun. Not. No sleep, it was July and height of summer when I was in the mid 30-week point. I dossed around the flat in shorts and vests most of the time, I napped when I could as I was so shattered and I couldn’t sleep for peeing or restless legs. At 38 weeks, my midwife told me Sophie was fully engaged and I was 80% effaced, so we began eviction!
I know all the old wives tales can be nonsense, but I bought a ball to bounce on! It was great! At 39 weeks, I very much remember bouncing on this ball while watching Grey’s Anatomy box sets and eating Dominos chilli pizza, that Husband found too hot to eat. It was Friday 3rd August when my contractions began, and you have to read my birth story to see how the rest of that went 🙂