**Please be aware, this story covers loss. If this offends, please go back a page. Thank you**
I had a relatively easy pregnancy. No problems, I took folic acid from when I found out I was pregnant; I ate very healthy and went to all my appointments. So when I unexpectedly went into labour at 34 weeks, I thought something was very odd. I was so afraid of how tiny my baby will be. Will she be able to breathe on her own? Will she have to stay in hospital without me? Will she even make it? I started having early contractions at 2.00am. I was prone to getting Braxton Hicks so for the first 2 hours I was blaming it on them. But they wouldn’t go away, and were getting so much worse?! So I called the hospital and they asked me some questions. They then told me I needed to come in right away.
So I called my mum and she came and got me, and went to the hospital with me and my other half. When I got there they were expecting me. I went into a private room so they could check us over. They were able to pick up my heartbeat very clearly, but not my little girl’s. The midwife explained that she was going to ask someone to come in with the ultrasound machine so we could try and hear a heartbeat. They set up the machine, and started their search. After checking for maybe minute or so, the ultrasound technician turned to me and said “There’s no heartbeat, I’m very sorry”
I was just so confused, she had been so healthy, no problems whatsoever and then this?! How could this happen to my baby girl…my long awaited baby girl? I remember my other half grabbing me tight as I was sobbing and screaming in his arms. “We’ll have more babies” he said. I remember thinking. “I don’t want any more babies, I WANT my little girl.” “She can’t be without me, she’ll be scared.” Every question that went through my mind was just making me zone out. I couldn’t take it. But I had to go on to deliver my little one.
My labour was easy, it progressed really well on its own and after a 10 hour labour I delivered her naturally with just a little gas & air. When I saw my little girl for the first time on the bed, my heart melted. She was so long, dark skin and full head of beautiful dark hair. She looked just like OH. I had never been more proud of anything in my entire life. She was weighed for us and was only just 4lbs and 46.5cm long. We were able to get footprints done and locks of her hair as a keepsake. We all had a cuddle with her, and after an hour we decided it was goodbye. So we laid her in a lovely Moses basket and left her with the amazing midwives.
We decided to have a post-mortem done as we wanted to know if losing her would affect our future children’s health. But the results came back negative of anything genetic or any trauma. Our little girl passed away of natural causes. To this day it’s so tough to not have a reason as to why our little girl was taken from us. But like the saying says “Too beautiful for this world” – I couldn’t agree more.
*This lovely girl went on to have a healthy baby boy! Please read Valentino‘s story*